Tag Archives: crazy

The (sur)real world

Cool thing of the day: Man, Woman, and the Wall.

Movie poster with Sora Aoi (right) and Keita Ono (left).

Netflix was good enough to suggest this flick, based on my preference for creepy, cerebral movies, of which there are lots. I’ve seen so many, I’m kind of burnt out on the genre. This one was Japanese, though, so I had to watch it. Yeah, I’m a Japanophile otaku geek, but I’m also awesome, so it’s OK.

Before I  begin, dear readers, a small (but important) disclaimer. Stalking is bad. Stalking is bad. Stalking is bad. But for some reason, it’s really entertaining to watch.

Reporter Ryo moves to a new apartment with very thin walls. His neighbor to the right is a young woman named Satsuki. He hears her all the time: in the shower, on the phone, having sex with her boyfriend. Ryo quickly starts to fantasize about her; he even buys equipment to better eavesdrop on her life.  But Ryo soon finds that he isn’t alone in his voyeurism.

This is an awesome movie for lots of reasons. The plot was solid, the characters well drawn, and there was a lot of detail to the set designs. I wasn’t too crazy about the cinematography or editing, but nothing’s perfect, right? I know very little Japanese, but I understood enough to judge the actors (mostly) competent in their roles.

I love movies that are both realistic and believable. I love flawed characters. Archetypes are fun to play with, but I like the complexity of real people. I think a lot of writers are scared to have truly fucked up protagonists–drug dealers, sadists, murderers, despots, etc–but those characters are the most interesting to create. I may loathe their actions and ideologies, but it’s fun to try to work them out. Some people may say that creating bad characters is bad, too, but, then again, those are the same people who claim that violent video games make children violent.  *snorts*  As if the parents have nothing to do with it.

So, in conclusion, Man, Woman, and the Wall was a mixed bag of awesomeness.  For reals.


Twilight sucks

I wrote this a couple of years ago in response to the Twilight craze that had swept through my office (and my team).  Grown women–my age and older, some with children–were fawning over this stupid story, and I did not understand why.  The shit read like a bad fanfic.  The characters were poorly developed, the story was ridiculous, the particulars went well beyond the realm of believability, and Bella? Mary Sue to the extreme.  The new girl in town, plain and drab, who faints at the sight of blood, and every boy in school lusts over?  Give me a fucking break.  At least with Harry Potter, there was a good plot to make up for all the weak bits.  Not so with Twilight.  It is, in my opinion, utter crap.  The following is a parody of the unfinished Edward series. Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, I give you–

Forbidden Sun: Edward explains to Emmett what he likes about Bella

“What is it about her that you can’t get over?  Yeah, she’s human, but so are all the rest of them, and you’re not beating your head in trying to not tear out their throats.  Seriously, dude.  Can’t you just, like, find another one? Seven decade itch and all; I’m sure one would be just as good as another.”

“You don’t understand, Emmett.  They all smell good, but not as good as her.  It’s not just a passing thirst.  I don’t even think I can explain it.”


When I was alive, I had loved lamp chops.  My family had not shared my fascination with this food; my sister, in fact, thought it sad and barbaric.  Something about eating a cute animal; she thought it sickening . So my mother only made this dish rarely, and always at my request.  What I remember most about that particular obsession was the smell: sure, they tasted lovely, but the smell was what had really stuck with me.

“So . . . you want to feed off of Bella . . . because she smells like a lamp chop?”

Emmett, as usual, did not understand.

“No, you doof.  She doesn’t smell like a lamb chop.  But that’s what I think of when I see her. Smell her,” I amended. “The best food in the world, the most tempting.  Tender.  Juicy.  Bella.”

Emmett though about this for a moment.  A new thing for him; I gave him some time.  “You know, you could just take off a finger.  Humans are resilient; she’ll survive it.”

He was my brother, and I loved him, but he could be so dumb sometimes.