So, I smoke. Not a lot, you understand, but even a rock such as myself (ha!) needs a crutch to take the edge off life. I smoke cloves. I’m not a goth, I just really like them. Also, regular cigarettes kill me.
As of September 2009, it is illegal to sell (but not illegal to possess) clove cigarettes anywhere in the US, along with beedis and flavored blunt wraps. There was some malarkey about how these “candy cigarettes” are more attractive to children and, therefore, a “gateway smoke”. *rolls eyes* Yeah, bullshit always goes in quotes. I’m not going to into all the problems with this stupid, ill-conceived and murky piece of legislation because that would be boring. At least, for you guys. (All two of you.)
Djarum and a couple other kretek manufacturers got around the ban by wrapping their cigs in cigar paper. But these new cigars taste like crap; I would rather smoke herbals than light up another one of them. So, after researching just how expensive it would be to import my own private stash of clove cigarettes, I just said fuck it and started making my own. Here’s my recipe for all you desperate clove smokers out there.
50g Pipe tobacco (regular tobacco doesn’t make a good mix)
20g Whole cloves
Bagged tea (one bag makes 6-8 oz)
Brewed tea (use 1 tea bag for 6-8 oz)
Grind your cloves, preferably by hand, being careful not to grind them too fine. (This will make your tobacco taste like shit.) Combine ground cloves, tobacco, and the contents of one bag of tea and mix thoroughly. Pour in enough brewed tea to saturate the mixture. Place in an airtight container and store in a cool, dark place for one day.
Thinly spread your tobacco on a cookie sheet. Heat oven to 200° (at the most) and place tobacco in oven to dry. Check every 10 minutes until done. Tobacco should be dry to the touch but not crispy. Store dried tobacco in airtight container.
Raw papers and filters are, to me, the best stuff out there. The few others that I tried gave a noticeable menthol-y taste to my cigarettes, even the non-menthol ones.
If you’ve never rolled before, or, like me, can’t manage a hand-roll, my little Job cigarette rollers have worked the best for me. I tried the roll box, and the metal flap hand roller, but I just couldn’t get them to work. The plastic ones, by the way, make really good, tight, fat rolls, but those rollers break easily.
If you do use this recipe, please leave feedback. I’m always looking to refine my recipe, and would appreciate any comments.
EDIT: So I kinda messed up on the bagged tea measurements. The ratio should, more accurately, be 20:50:1 instead of 2:5:1. Oops. Sorry, ya’ll.